I’ve been busy, okay! Only God can judge…

That’s not a lie.  I have had a lot going on.  I’ve missed two weeks at work, one planned and one unplanned.  The unplanned one was for the sudden death of one of my closest family members.  My cousin passed away of, what we learned yesterday, a freak heart condition that went undiagnosed  for the past 4 years.  Actually, that’s not quite right.  She was misdiagnosed earlier this year with a seizure disorder.  She was having episodes of passing out that the doctors immediately attributed to a seizure disorder without much testing.  I attribute the less than stellar medical care partly to my cousin not having private health insurance and partly to the area where I’m from (looking at you NELA) not having optimal medical care.  

Anyway, to say that I took the death hard would be an understatement.  We were the same age, grew up across the street from each other, and pretty much stayed together every weekend until we were teenagers.  She had a 4 year old kid that witnessed her collapse and, ultimately, her death.  And her partner was working in another country at the time and unable to reach family much sooner than I.  

I ended up having to drive the 20 plus odd hours to Louisiana and back again because I couldn’t find a last minute flight under $1,800 because it was a holiday weekend.  Honestly, at least driving kept my mind busy.  And Missouri is a beautiful state.  Iowa isn’t my favorite. 

Pretty sure Iowa doubles as Purgatory...

Anyway, I was fortunate that I have a boss that immediately sent me packing when I arrived at work with the news and told me not to come back to work until my family was seen to.  I know how rare that is in today’s world and I’m very thankful.  I was gone around 7 days in total.  I was back at work for one week doing triple the workload because I had to do the previous week’s, that week’s, and the next week’s workload.  You see, the following week I was moving into my new smaller, more cost efficient apartment.

So I was strapped for cash (traveling+moving=expensive), working a lot, packing, and just generally stressed to the max.  I was also eating a bunch of crap (high sugar, high saturated fat, nothing green).  I’m so thankful for my two buddies that helped me the weekend before the move to get everything into boxes.  Otherwise, I’m pretty sure that it wouldn’t have gotten done.  

As of this past weekend, I am 100% settled.  All my bags are unpacked, things are mostly where they need to be, drapes are up, and pictures are on the wall.  The cat likes creeping under the blinds and peering at the people walking past to go to the park.  By the way, did you know it’s legal to keep a rhino in an apartment?  It must be because I’m pretty sure one lives upstairs.

I also do laundry after midnight.  That’s cool, right?

Anyway, we’re having a celebratory BBQ at my house (here’s hoping the fancy grill my landlord let me keep works!) after work.  It’s going to be in the 50s/60s tonight but I figure between the grill, the beer, and the small partially enclosed space, we should be fine.  If not, I can pull out some heaters and make it work.  And I think the rain has moved on now so we should be in the clear.

What’s your least favorite state?  I think Mississippi is on my short list too.

What’s your favorite part of moving?  Mine is trying to find new go-to places to eat.

Gotta Get Down on Friday

Hello internet friends!  It’s been a wild week for sure. August and September are my busiest months at work and I’ve spent the last week in a constant state of panic.  It doesn’t help that a wicked stomach virus has been spreading around work so we’ve been shorthanded.  I managed to get sick last weekend (LUCKY ME) so I spent this week covering for my team while trying not to have a nervous breakdown running from meeting to meeting.

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Know what made this week even more of a treat? Being on a very low calorie diet that is also a low carb diet!  My Medifast box came in last Thursday so I started the plan on Friday.  To say my energy has been low would be like saying January in Minnesota is chilly.  I.E. TOTAL UNDERSTATEMENT.  I’m finally starting to get used to running on significantly fewer calories, though I did have to make some adjustments.

For example, I’m supposed to be doing 5 Medifast meals a day with one lean and green meal.  Well, because the meals have so many vitamins and minerals in them, especially iron, they have a tendency to make my stomach uneasy.  So, to cope with this, I am eating 4 Medifast meals and 2 lean and green meals.  The heavier real food meals tend to cut some nausea that I’m attributing primarily to iron.

Usually I’ll throw the Medifast Hot Cocoa packet or Dutch Chocolate shake into my morning coffee for breakfast within 30 minutes of waking.  Then around 10 I’ll eat something that is actual food.  Lately it’s been a spinach and mushroom omelet or some cold boiled eggs and chopped cucumbers.  Then I’ll do 3 more shakes/bars/whatever throughout the day and eat another real food meal in the evening.   I also found that any medication needed to be taken at night with real food to also help prevent feeling sick to my stomach.

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I’ll talk more about how stuff tastes and what I go and whatnot later on, but I will say while it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever eaten, it’s not Chez Pierre either.  

+1 if you got that reference

But it is easy, not too expensive, and portable.  Just like me.  I’ll also point out that I lost 9 pounds this week.  I know that from now one my loss will likely be around 2-5 pounds per week but losing 15-24 pounds in a month without delivering a child or something is pretty impressive.  

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What’s the weirdest diet you ever did?  Mine is probably cabbage soup.  Still to this day I cannot eat boiled cabbage. 

IDGAF Food Edition

It’s my busiest time of year.  Which means that when I walk out of my office building, I’m not great at functioning like an adult.  Inside the building, I mostly keep it together.  Most of the time.  Before and after my arrival, I’m pretty much a mess.  My sleep schedule is wonky, my appetite is just strange, and the amount of effort I want to spend on anything from cooking to cleaning to exchanging pleasantries with my geriatric neighbors is minimal.  I haven’t blogged because I’ve been stressed, maybe a smidge hormonal, and a real gem to be around in person so who knows what that would have translated to on screen.

Probably something like this...

My diet has been made of almost entirely of coffee, Quest bars, and Taco Bell.  Don’t worry, I take vitamins so it’s unlikely I’ll get scurvy.  Although getting scurvy would mean at least 12 weeks of FMLA time off work….  Note to self, stop taking vitamins.  It’s not like I use my legs much anyway.  Anyway, I have no idea if I’ve lost weight.  Getting my scale out of the closet seems like a lot of work and is just way out of my realm of interest right now.  

So too is going grocery shopping.  While I hate the taste of most Quest bars, they’re so convenient and easy and portable that I choke them down to avoid leaving my desk to even go to the café located WITHIN MY OFFICE BUILDING.  So you can imagine what I eat at home. 

It's only a matter of time

So, I placed an order for Medifast.  The truth is, I need to lose weight, 40-65ish pounds to be exact.  And a time when I’m just not interested in food would be a smart time to try and start.  With Medifast, you eat 5 of their meal replacements and supplement a lean protein and low carb veggie a day.  I’ve ordered once before but the options were much fewer and I only got 2 weeks out of the food they sent after I cut out all of the meals I couldn’t stomach.  

Whoever created this is a twisted individual.

 

Still, I lost about 20 pounds in 2 weeks with the program back in 2008, so it does work.  Now they have 4 week boxes where they curate it to your tastes.  I debated between the Chocolate Lovers box and the On-the-Go box but decided on the Chocolate Lovers because that pudding is the best pudding in the world, diet or not.  If they had a box only containing the pudding, that’s what I would get.

Why don’t I create a box full of pudding (or of other stuff I know I like without risking getting things I’m not sure about)?  Well, for starters, I’m not motivated (didn’t we just go over that!).  The other reason is that it’s cheaper to buy a 4 week kit than build your own.  And I’m nothing if not incredibly cheap fiscally responsible.   

If this is wrong, I don't want to be right

Both of those reasons are also why  I signed up for the auto-delivery method.  It’s called Medifast Advantage.  I ended up getting free shipping and almost $100 off.  You also get 10% from your first order as a credit towards your next order.  So, next month, I’ll get $25 knocked off my order and still have free shipping.  

So for the first month, it’s going to be cheaper than me actually going out and buying groceries and going out to eat.  And I’ll probably even out next month.  Since I’m moving next month and won’t have a functional kitchen for a week or two, it’s worth it to me to just pay for it.  

This isn’t a sponsored post.  I mean, nobody reads this, why would it be sponsored?!  It’s mostly about being lazy and finding ways to cope with rather than change this fact. 

How does your lazy show?  It’s hard to pick, but throwing pans out rather than washing them is probably the most common.

Weight Loss Wednesday-Food Edition

I’ve been on a kick where I just don’t want to put in the effort to prepare meals.  I think it’s a delayed hangover from the Whole30, as that plan was just so labor intensive.  I can’t cook 2 hours a day, every day and get all the sitting on the couch and watching TV time that I require in at the same time.  And since I hate buying convenience food for my house, I’ve been conveniently ordering takeout and driving through all the drive thrus.  All of them.

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So I finally broke down yesterday and gave Target all of my money.  In return, I got some food to eat at home which requires little to no prep.  I bought a bunch of protein bars.  I also grabbed some gluten-free, organic burritos since they were on sale and you can’t get much lazier than a burrito.  Seriously, you don’t even need utensils.

I also bough these:

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They only have 7 grams of sugar and less than 150 calories while still packing 4 grams of fiber.  They have chia seeds in them if that’s your thing but I just like that they have the texture of a no-bake chocolate oatmeal cookie.  They were also on sale, which is why I picked them up originally. 

Actually, looking at my receipt, the only things I bought that were not on sale were ranch dressing and ketchup.  You see where my priorities lie…

I speak the truth.

Thursday Thoughts

On giving myself pep talks… 

 I do this a lot and think that I use these little conversations with myself to prepare for changes, stress, and just processing information.  As a sensitive girl in a rough and tumble world, sometimes my self-esteem and” nerves” take a beating.  So I take a few minutes a day and just run through things in my head.  

For example, if I have a meeting with someone at work who I know is particularly difficult, I try to give myself guidelines to follow in my interactions with that person like, “You will be polite and professional.  You will smile and make eye contact and reassure them that they’ve been heard.  You will not allow them to dismiss you, disrespect you, or steamroll you.”  That’s obvious stuff folks, but you’d be surprised how much it helps lower anxiety.  (Of course, I always try to be as prepared as possible, which also helps with my nervousness.)  I liken it to giving little kids warnings like, “In 3 minutes we’re going to head to take a bath” or,  “In 15 minutes we’re going to bed. “  I just need a minute to get myself in the right frame of mine.

I believe you have my stapler.

I also tend to take poor interactions with people too personally.  This is particularly an issue when online dating.  I have yet to have a great experience with online dating.  Maybe it’s because I expect someone to be polite when trying to start a relationship.  Also, I expect someone not to get vicious if I take more than 20 minutes to respond to an email or politely refuse to allow them to come to my house for a “first date”.  Basically, I expect common courtesy and common sense.  

But it’s online!  And I’ve read the comments in the News section on Yahoo!  I know that the internet is where the crazies go to nest.  Then why do I take it to heart when someone tells me I’m fat and ugly when I turn them down.   Why do I get surprised that a guy turns out to be married or lies about having kids?  I DON’T KNOW.  That’s why.  

LET IT GO, WOMAN

I’m still learning how to let this roll off of my back but lately I’ve just been talking myself away from the feelings.  If someone really thought I was too fat and ugly to date, they wouldn’t email me and tell me I’m pretty or have a nice smile or eyes.  They wouldn’t spend the time or energy to make the initial contact with me.  However, if a guy was really a nice, decent person, then they would never attack you for politely declining their advances.  Also, if a guy who clearly just wants a hookup and says so to you and on his profile contacts me, when I’m only looking for a relationship, he is probably inebriated or ignorant.  

The last thing I’m going to mention is road rage.  I have it.  Bad.   The fact that Minnesota just made a list for best drivers in the country is a complete mystery.  I’m pretty sure half the gray hair on my head is because of Minnesota drivers.  For some reason, if I have a bad commute, I tend to carry that with me the entire freaking day.  I need to work on that….  Yeah, that’s the one I’m going to have problems with.

It's go time