Thursday Thoughts

On giving myself pep talks… 

 I do this a lot and think that I use these little conversations with myself to prepare for changes, stress, and just processing information.  As a sensitive girl in a rough and tumble world, sometimes my self-esteem and” nerves” take a beating.  So I take a few minutes a day and just run through things in my head.  

For example, if I have a meeting with someone at work who I know is particularly difficult, I try to give myself guidelines to follow in my interactions with that person like, “You will be polite and professional.  You will smile and make eye contact and reassure them that they’ve been heard.  You will not allow them to dismiss you, disrespect you, or steamroll you.”  That’s obvious stuff folks, but you’d be surprised how much it helps lower anxiety.  (Of course, I always try to be as prepared as possible, which also helps with my nervousness.)  I liken it to giving little kids warnings like, “In 3 minutes we’re going to head to take a bath” or,  “In 15 minutes we’re going to bed. “  I just need a minute to get myself in the right frame of mine.

I believe you have my stapler.

I also tend to take poor interactions with people too personally.  This is particularly an issue when online dating.  I have yet to have a great experience with online dating.  Maybe it’s because I expect someone to be polite when trying to start a relationship.  Also, I expect someone not to get vicious if I take more than 20 minutes to respond to an email or politely refuse to allow them to come to my house for a “first date”.  Basically, I expect common courtesy and common sense.  

But it’s online!  And I’ve read the comments in the News section on Yahoo!  I know that the internet is where the crazies go to nest.  Then why do I take it to heart when someone tells me I’m fat and ugly when I turn them down.   Why do I get surprised that a guy turns out to be married or lies about having kids?  I DON’T KNOW.  That’s why.  

LET IT GO, WOMAN

I’m still learning how to let this roll off of my back but lately I’ve just been talking myself away from the feelings.  If someone really thought I was too fat and ugly to date, they wouldn’t email me and tell me I’m pretty or have a nice smile or eyes.  They wouldn’t spend the time or energy to make the initial contact with me.  However, if a guy was really a nice, decent person, then they would never attack you for politely declining their advances.  Also, if a guy who clearly just wants a hookup and says so to you and on his profile contacts me, when I’m only looking for a relationship, he is probably inebriated or ignorant.  

The last thing I’m going to mention is road rage.  I have it.  Bad.   The fact that Minnesota just made a list for best drivers in the country is a complete mystery.  I’m pretty sure half the gray hair on my head is because of Minnesota drivers.  For some reason, if I have a bad commute, I tend to carry that with me the entire freaking day.  I need to work on that….  Yeah, that’s the one I’m going to have problems with.

It's go time