Gotta Get Down on Friday

Hello internet friends!  It’s been a wild week for sure. August and September are my busiest months at work and I’ve spent the last week in a constant state of panic.  It doesn’t help that a wicked stomach virus has been spreading around work so we’ve been shorthanded.  I managed to get sick last weekend (LUCKY ME) so I spent this week covering for my team while trying not to have a nervous breakdown running from meeting to meeting.

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Know what made this week even more of a treat? Being on a very low calorie diet that is also a low carb diet!  My Medifast box came in last Thursday so I started the plan on Friday.  To say my energy has been low would be like saying January in Minnesota is chilly.  I.E. TOTAL UNDERSTATEMENT.  I’m finally starting to get used to running on significantly fewer calories, though I did have to make some adjustments.

For example, I’m supposed to be doing 5 Medifast meals a day with one lean and green meal.  Well, because the meals have so many vitamins and minerals in them, especially iron, they have a tendency to make my stomach uneasy.  So, to cope with this, I am eating 4 Medifast meals and 2 lean and green meals.  The heavier real food meals tend to cut some nausea that I’m attributing primarily to iron.

Usually I’ll throw the Medifast Hot Cocoa packet or Dutch Chocolate shake into my morning coffee for breakfast within 30 minutes of waking.  Then around 10 I’ll eat something that is actual food.  Lately it’s been a spinach and mushroom omelet or some cold boiled eggs and chopped cucumbers.  Then I’ll do 3 more shakes/bars/whatever throughout the day and eat another real food meal in the evening.   I also found that any medication needed to be taken at night with real food to also help prevent feeling sick to my stomach.

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I’ll talk more about how stuff tastes and what I go and whatnot later on, but I will say while it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever eaten, it’s not Chez Pierre either.  

+1 if you got that reference

But it is easy, not too expensive, and portable.  Just like me.  I’ll also point out that I lost 9 pounds this week.  I know that from now one my loss will likely be around 2-5 pounds per week but losing 15-24 pounds in a month without delivering a child or something is pretty impressive.  

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What’s the weirdest diet you ever did?  Mine is probably cabbage soup.  Still to this day I cannot eat boiled cabbage. 

IDGAF Food Edition

It’s my busiest time of year.  Which means that when I walk out of my office building, I’m not great at functioning like an adult.  Inside the building, I mostly keep it together.  Most of the time.  Before and after my arrival, I’m pretty much a mess.  My sleep schedule is wonky, my appetite is just strange, and the amount of effort I want to spend on anything from cooking to cleaning to exchanging pleasantries with my geriatric neighbors is minimal.  I haven’t blogged because I’ve been stressed, maybe a smidge hormonal, and a real gem to be around in person so who knows what that would have translated to on screen.

Probably something like this...

My diet has been made of almost entirely of coffee, Quest bars, and Taco Bell.  Don’t worry, I take vitamins so it’s unlikely I’ll get scurvy.  Although getting scurvy would mean at least 12 weeks of FMLA time off work….  Note to self, stop taking vitamins.  It’s not like I use my legs much anyway.  Anyway, I have no idea if I’ve lost weight.  Getting my scale out of the closet seems like a lot of work and is just way out of my realm of interest right now.  

So too is going grocery shopping.  While I hate the taste of most Quest bars, they’re so convenient and easy and portable that I choke them down to avoid leaving my desk to even go to the café located WITHIN MY OFFICE BUILDING.  So you can imagine what I eat at home. 

It's only a matter of time

So, I placed an order for Medifast.  The truth is, I need to lose weight, 40-65ish pounds to be exact.  And a time when I’m just not interested in food would be a smart time to try and start.  With Medifast, you eat 5 of their meal replacements and supplement a lean protein and low carb veggie a day.  I’ve ordered once before but the options were much fewer and I only got 2 weeks out of the food they sent after I cut out all of the meals I couldn’t stomach.  

Whoever created this is a twisted individual.

 

Still, I lost about 20 pounds in 2 weeks with the program back in 2008, so it does work.  Now they have 4 week boxes where they curate it to your tastes.  I debated between the Chocolate Lovers box and the On-the-Go box but decided on the Chocolate Lovers because that pudding is the best pudding in the world, diet or not.  If they had a box only containing the pudding, that’s what I would get.

Why don’t I create a box full of pudding (or of other stuff I know I like without risking getting things I’m not sure about)?  Well, for starters, I’m not motivated (didn’t we just go over that!).  The other reason is that it’s cheaper to buy a 4 week kit than build your own.  And I’m nothing if not incredibly cheap fiscally responsible.   

If this is wrong, I don't want to be right

Both of those reasons are also why  I signed up for the auto-delivery method.  It’s called Medifast Advantage.  I ended up getting free shipping and almost $100 off.  You also get 10% from your first order as a credit towards your next order.  So, next month, I’ll get $25 knocked off my order and still have free shipping.  

So for the first month, it’s going to be cheaper than me actually going out and buying groceries and going out to eat.  And I’ll probably even out next month.  Since I’m moving next month and won’t have a functional kitchen for a week or two, it’s worth it to me to just pay for it.  

This isn’t a sponsored post.  I mean, nobody reads this, why would it be sponsored?!  It’s mostly about being lazy and finding ways to cope with rather than change this fact. 

How does your lazy show?  It’s hard to pick, but throwing pans out rather than washing them is probably the most common.

Weight Loss Wednesday-Food Edition

I’ve been on a kick where I just don’t want to put in the effort to prepare meals.  I think it’s a delayed hangover from the Whole30, as that plan was just so labor intensive.  I can’t cook 2 hours a day, every day and get all the sitting on the couch and watching TV time that I require in at the same time.  And since I hate buying convenience food for my house, I’ve been conveniently ordering takeout and driving through all the drive thrus.  All of them.

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So I finally broke down yesterday and gave Target all of my money.  In return, I got some food to eat at home which requires little to no prep.  I bought a bunch of protein bars.  I also grabbed some gluten-free, organic burritos since they were on sale and you can’t get much lazier than a burrito.  Seriously, you don’t even need utensils.

I also bough these:

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They only have 7 grams of sugar and less than 150 calories while still packing 4 grams of fiber.  They have chia seeds in them if that’s your thing but I just like that they have the texture of a no-bake chocolate oatmeal cookie.  They were also on sale, which is why I picked them up originally. 

Actually, looking at my receipt, the only things I bought that were not on sale were ranch dressing and ketchup.  You see where my priorities lie…

I speak the truth.

Weight Loss Wednesday

Happy Hump Day!  I totally meant to do a post on Friday about my workouts and on Monday to recap my weekend but a lack of pictures and time got in the way.  I’m trying to get copies of weekend pictures but my friends are slacking sending me the ones they took as mine are all blurry and out of focus, per usual.  I’ll do a post this coming Friday with my workouts as of late.  

Speaking of pictures, I can’t really do a real before for a before and after right now.  I don’t have a full length mirror at my house and the only way I can get an ankle to head picture is if I stand on the toilet. 

Also, I didn’t weight today.  I think that weighing every week, especially on a week with a holiday in it, is discouraging for me.  Since I’m working out, I’m also building muscle and I don’t want fluctuations because of that affecting my motivation.  So I’ll probably be weighing and doing measurements once a month.  I can tell you that I wore shorts with a 32” waist on Saturday.  If I’m correct, that translates to a size 12, which I’m pretty excited about.  The clothes in my closet range from a size 17 (my junior’s department Levi’s) to size 12.  I can wear all of them but they look drastically different.  17’s require a belt and give the droopy butt effect.  The 12 fits like a glove except for the muffin top at top.  I’m an if-it-zips-it-fits kinda gal, so I’m okay with the muffin top.

Embrace the muffin top.

I’ll touch on what I ate over the holiday weekend a little better later on, but just know that I ate crap (mostly brats and patriotic cookies), but not nearly enough crap to exceed my caloric output.   And yesterday I had dental work done and can’t use my bottom back molars to chew, so I’m eating what I can eat until the throbbing stops.  Yesterday was a lot of mashed up French fries and milkshakes.  DON’T JUDGE ME.

Captain America loves these cookies.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a happy and safe holiday weekend and didn’t eat nearly as many cookies as I did.

Weight Loss Wednesday

First blog entry for Fatty Patty-be gentle! 

So...I've been dealing with weight issues for forever.  Seriously.  I was a fat baby.  I was pushing 300 pounds as a senior in high school and then lost 150 pounds with Weight Watchers by the time I finished freshmen year at college.  Since that time I've mostly been able to yo-yo diet into fitting into a size 12/13 and around 160-180 pounds until the past few years.  Yo-yo dieting isn't working like it used to.  Probably because I've damaged my metabolism over the years or maybe just because I'm getting older.  Actually, I'm pretty sure it's the old thing.

I'm hoping that posting monthly/weekly goals, a recap of my diet for the past week, current weight and measurements, and general word vomit here will help hold me accountable.  I lost 13 pounds in May with the Whole30 plan and have since resorted to a bastardized Paleo diet plan.  I do have some food allergies (dairy and gluten and soy) which fit best into this plan, even though it can be a pain in the rear.

Right now I'm hovering around 198 and my measurements are:

• neck:  14.5 inches
• upper arms:  15.5 inches
• bust:   43 inches
• chest:  39.5 inches
• waist:  37 inches
• hips: 48 inches
• thighs:  28.5 inches
• calves:  18.75 inches

So basically, my goal is to have a waist the size of my right thigh.  That shouldn't be difficult.

Stay Tuned 

Next Wednesday I'll do more of a recap of what I've been shoving into my gullet, any awesome recipes I've made up, or general bitching about my pants not fitting. 
The first Wednesday of August I'll update my weight and measurements.  Depending on how brave (or drunk) I am, I might even post those before shots I took.


If anyone is reading, how do you manage your weight?  Are you one of the mythical naturally thin people or the ones that don't like tasty things?